#2.The Duty and Light in Light Duties
The duty of parents is not merely to feed, clothe, cuddle and protect their children. If the Lord Jesus has placed children in your family, then he has entrusted you to raise them; for his glory, and their eternal good. It’s a work which will not do itself. Ignore this role, and we end up teaching our children the opposite of what we ought, even if by accident.
All of us are ill-equipped for this task. We’ve been given a job too great for us, but a job which we must do. This dilemma echoes across the Bible. God habitually placed his people in the middle of situations they were unfit for, which they were called to trust and obey in. He glorifies himself in bringing about his purposes for his people, being triumphant for them, even despite them.
As far as human players are concerned, the Bible is mostly about how God’s people failed. Jesus is the only one who perfectly did all the right things at the right time in the right way. More than that, Jesus stood in as the substitute for his failed people, taking judgement in their place; giving them his perfect record; earning for them the right to be secure in the Father’s favour forever. If you belong to Jesus, if you’re hidden in Him, you are not condemned. You aren’t justified by your performance, but by his.
But Jesus didn’t save us to care less about what he says is good—the good we’ve failed to do. He saved us to love and obey God more than we would if we were left dead in our sins. Jesus saves people to change them. He puts us back together, his way, the way he designed us to be. This changes motherhood.
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.” Titus 2:11-14
The word ‘duty’ is loaded with unhelpful baggage. We’ll talk more about that down the track. Understood rightly, duty is still a good word. It reminds us there is a must and must not. There is necessity. There is a good we mustn’t set aside. Duty reminds us that God has preferences about how we do things.
Duty is a good that is due to someone else; a good which is defined by God, in a relationship ordained by God. Neither the relationship nor the transaction of goodness is up for negotiation. When the good that is due is withheld, it costs everyone involved. Jesus resurrects our relationship with goodness and therefore, with duty.
The duty of motherhood isn’t just for those who are inclined toward domesticity—for frumpy women whose hobby is having babies. If God has made you responsible for a child, you’ve got a peculiar duty which someone else cannot do for you (at least, not without damage and the costly transfer of responsibility to someone else). It’s a responsibility which is yours, a good you owe your child and the God who made him. It’s your good work to walk in, even if you feel like you’re not the best person for the job. Fulfilling our responsibilities for the children God has entrusted to us is one of the “goods” Jesus makes us eager for.
It’s not surprising that we struggle to be eager in this good work of motherhood. The struggle and lack of eagerness is the most natural thing in the world. But Jesus undoes what is natural and inevitable. He’s making all things new, starting with his people.
Our first duty is to bow before the Lord Jesus and, being forgiven by him, to live into our chief end, to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Our duty as mothers is to do all this in a way which sweeps our children into the same. The duty of parents is not merely to feed, clothe, cuddle and protect our children. It’s raising our kids to live all of life as people purchased by Jesus, redeemed and owned by him, people who are learning to say ‘no’ to ungodliness and worldly passions. People eagerly learning to live self-controlled, godly and upright lives while we wait for Jesus’ return. Our duty is to raise our children in light of Jesus’ appearing. We’re not free to do otherwise. It’s a betrayal of our Lord’s trust when we put it aside. It’s handing back to the Giver his gift, unopened.
In this mysterious, supernatural duty of raising children for God, God gives us means to use (we’ll get to them in months to come). As we use the provisions God has given, he makes things grow. The work is vast, but it isn’t always as complicated as we think. Our own hearts make it harder; but we have been given new hearts beating new blood into our affections. As God grows us, he strengthens our inclination for this work and our muscle to do it. Instead of being buried under the weight, we can look forward to seeing how the Lord will provide for the good he would have us do.
The Lord Jesus, with all authority in heaven and on earth, is with us—in us—by his Spirit. God makes heavy duties light. And he brings the glory of Jesus to light in new spaces as these duties are done well.
